I have sent my ministry profile -it’s like a divinely-inspired resume- to about a dozen churches over the last couple of months. Of those, I’ve met with two search committees. Of the rest, half ignored me all together and half sent rejection notices of one form or another. In this post I am going to share with you some of the most interesting, and egregious, examples of how churches reject a potential man of the cloth. Please know that this post is all in good humor and I mean no offense to the churches which asked me to “keep looking” (and especially those who are still considering me). Because everything is done by committee in the search & call process I got nothing but time on my hands to write all about it.
5) “The ministry position is filled, I just forgot to remove it from the job board.” This one is more of a timing issue. It’s not so much that I am not called there, God just didn’t call me soon enough.
4) “Your prior military service may be a problem” (from a traditionally nonviolent denomination). A catch-22 if ever I heard one: God called me to ministry within the military, and yet that same military service prevents my call to the ministry. On the other hand maybe I am called to put the “fist” back in pacifist. Maybe the denomination should have a “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy concerning military service.
3) “While we recognize and appreciate your willingness to serve wherever and however God calls you, we do not believe your experience matches the qualifications we are seeking at this time.” I forgot all about that part in the Bible where it says, in Hezekiah 3:16 “Then the Lord commandeth Moses to produce a resume listing his qualifications. Upon determining that he was well qualified and experienced at freeing other enslaved peoples, The Lord called Moses to Egypt to set his people free.”
2) (a VERY loose paraphrase) “We know all about that latte-sippin, tree-huggin, sushi-eatin, bleeding-heart, liberal Disciples of Christ denomination. We won’t have you coming in our church jeopardizing our immortal souls!” Oh the tragedy – we may have been made for each other. If only they knew me better, perhaps by reading my blog? I need to put more effort in advertising.
1) “The search committee…regrets to inform you that the call the Lord has placed in your heart is not for our church at this time.” Man-up, search committee! Take some responsibility. Do I have to remind you that you are congregationalist, that means you have the final say. You can’t have it both ways.
What about you? What’s the most memorable way you have been turned down?





